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am i evil for hating

that it doesn’t get that bad anymore?

or rather

that WHEN it does (because really, it does.)

i know better now. how to hold on even as i chip my nails from all the clinging.

fighting through it, yearning for a time when i can loosen my grip

to give my nails the time to grow back

while my fingers ache with the memory

and the anticipation

(radio cure <3)

languishing in a limbo for far too long. the stuckness doesn't ever seem to go away. the luxury of immense helplessness is slipping away from me (it has been for a while now). my insides can't seem to catch up with all that needs doing.

for comfort: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faty2Oy8h1k